The Challenge

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Day Nine: No Guilt

I am thankful for: My decree to give up guilt.
Today was a really good day.  A really good day.  We had a work-from-home day due to the blizzard conditions in our northern town.  This meant that Boy, Hub and I were all in the same house for nearly the whole day (the weather had subsided by the time Hub had to go to work).  This meant I got to sneak up and kiss my kid when I went for a yogurt or a soda and I got to feed him instead of pumping every three hours. 

And after Hub went to work, Boy accompanied while I did dishes and sang to him (something that made him smile so big his face must have hurt!). 

Then, after a short nap, we had story time, bath time, and bed time.  It was one of the best evenings I've had with Boy in a couple weeks.  And here's why:The past 2 weeks, I was doing 6am trainings a couple days a week.  The trainings were good and I was happy to do them, but they rendered me super exhausted by the evening hours and I found myself pining for the time when Boy would be ready for bed. 

Thankful Moment: He was also coming down with an ear infection last week, so he wasn't as much his good natured self - so glad he's feeling better.

And, yes, I felt SO guilty for that.  I want to soak up every minute I can of his awesomeness, so to be counting down the time until bedtime made my heart just hurt.  But each day I reminded myself that guilt wasn't allowed and it was okay to be tired.  This got me through.

And then today I got to enjoy the evening without feeling guilty for the days that were hard, without feeling like I missed something by not having every day be like today.  Today was enough.  It was enough to live in the moment and enjoy every second I had - without harboring guilt for any other day that might not have been as great. 

I'm thankful for the constant reminder I have to stop myself from being my own enemy. 

I hope you enjoyed your leap day.

1 comment:

Dianne said...

You make my heart LEAP!

Live-strong and Guilt-free!